Dear my heavenly Father,
Sherene have something want to talk,
i don't why? i feel soooo angry with my church member, i can't let go that feeling, i feel so sad...
i love them sooooo much, so i ask myself don't be angry, everything just a test from Satan.
But finally i feel angry at all, my feeling make me feel hate all of them, even though somebody are love me more than i love them. But because of that hurt, i not really want to meet with them.
i like my pastor and my leader sooooo much, they are the person who care me and treat me as their own sister. They are no hurt me at all, but i feel don't like to meet with them. i don't know my mind was thinking about what? That feeling make me tell ill to people and also ponteng church again and again. After ponteng church i feel guilty, that feeling lagi teruk....
Everyday i counsel myself, tell myself can't be like that again and again... but can't use also!
every night i pray :"Father, please take away my anger, i want mercy, i need Your peace and joy, i want to be Your good daugther, i need Your counsel..." Sometime the feeling will disappear, but sometime the picture will show me again and again....
i really feel sad. I am confuse, i know that my heart want to go church, but my body not really want to go. People told me before, She say we have to listen our heart, not to follow our feeling. Sound like very easy, but actually very hard, i can't do it...
please help me, father.....
that is only way which is telling You and surrender to You,....
From little be lover Child of God
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