Baptised!!! Sharing

Im sherene, I just get this new name...
I get water baptised last 2 week, so now im fresh, all things new... let me share something with all of you, before I baptised Im a very emotianal person, I can be very happy, but suddenly I can become very very down, until all my friends will say like that: why this hui wen always like one, suddenly diam-diam then dun wan talk to other... Make us no mood next time dun ask her to join our gethering liao la... that time I also same like what my pastor share with me before, I always feel lonely, although I got many many friends, most of them care me n love me soooo much, but I cant feel it... I always feel not enough, I wan get more n more but i also scare hurt by them...so very confuse ho...
I also always complain to God, God you are not fair... you answers all others prayer but u never answer my prayer... I hate u, rely rely hate u... im very hungry for this love from God, but he never giv me.. He always make me disappointed.. al this thing my cell group leader know one, because I always complian to her, sometime she also very angry, because Im very dengil I not accept what she is talking to me... All her advice i never try by my heart, I think she also got disappointed with me la...
But now I want to talk loudly to all of u.. God loves me so much... Actually that time He got answer my prayer one, just i dunno only.. I never use my heart to feel God's love, i just use my eye to search it, so I cant feel it that time lo... dunno y?? after I baptised I feel very happy, all the sadness and worry suddenly disappear.. Jesus takes away all my negative thinking and teach me to think positive.. He care for me like his baby, a 1 year old baby.. He will not allow the sadness disturb my life.. He always tell me, hui wen you are new born baby, that is your new life, it is a restart of ur life.. All de unhappy is pass tense.. So everyday i feel happy, but I dunno why i happy.. I happy without any reason.. That happiness cannot explain, no like im very hardworking to do revision, everyday i do then finally I get a very good result,.. no wo, not like de leh... That happy is come from my heart.. That feeling make me feel comfortable and peaceful... Let me feel this whole earth full of love... That is call peace and joy... In here,my heart and also in all of your heart also got, rite?? because we always know that God love us soooo much, amen!!! hehe