Give thanks…

Everyone likes to compare themselves with others people…
Including me - myself also same…
I always compare my ability with people who are great than me,
After make comparison with them, I start to feel self-pity; I start to feel I am useless…
At that situation, I lost my way, I feel suffer with everything…
I always compare my result with my friends, after I get know their result is better than me, and then I start to feel jealous with them. I start to become selfish, I try my best to get better result to let people know I also not that bad, after I get the good result I never feel happy, I feel lonely. I feel lost everything though I get a good result. All my friend go away from me, they feel that I am selfish… they don’t like to talk with me, they feel that I am no honest…
After get know God, I always ask myself why I do that. Live is no for others people, it is my life. I have the right to be myself. Why I always force myself to do thing for people? Am I feeling happy after win people? No, I never feel happy I feel normal, nothing special… No one is perfect, if I continue to make comparison with others people, I won’t get satisfaction in my life, so many people I will compare…
I thanks God, He show me the way… He tell me that whatever I am He still love me, I won’t feel that I am crazy or stupid… He don’t care about my speaking skill is not good, though I can’t speak smoothly but He still listen my prayer, He still like to communicate with me, everyday He talk will me and teach me how to be a better student, a better daughter for my parents… Every time I compare my own ability with people He will talk to me that: “ Sherene, you are the best, need not do comparison with people, need no to feel self pity or feel sad that you are not that good like others”…
Because of Him I feel satisfied with myself…
Because of Him, I love all people around me; I won’t feel jealous with them…
When people are better than me, then u will give thanks to God, because give me chance to learn from others people… When I am better than people, I give thanks to God also because the wisdom to teach people… all the time I will glorify His name…

my family

there are my family members, i love them sooo much,
i give thanks to God, because bless me a happiness family....
the picture was taken during Chinese New Year =D

my uncle come from Singapura,
he come to visit my daddy...
he is a very nice old man, he care my family, he treat my daddy like his son..
thanks God give him a very strong body...

guilty because misunderstand with my sister

i am so sorry that i hurt you so deep...

really i feel very very guilty...

father lord, please forgive me, i know i am wrong, please give me one more chance, i promise that i i will control my emotion before i get angry. lord, i really don't know what i can do, only i can do is telling you and surrender to you... please help me comfort my sister heart, i can feel that her heart have a super big scar, i feel pain when my mum tell me everything she is done for me, i feel that i am useless, i am their elder sister but i cant to be a good example to them... please control me so that next time i wont be so easy feel angry, please give me your wisdom to do everything well, i need to have a good image in front of my family, so that they can accept me to be a Christian, please protect all my family member, in Jesus name i pray, amen...

Changing Something

Me, Chia Fei Voon is a normal girl,
I like to keep everything into my heart, I like silent myself,
I got many many friends but I feel lonely, feel that I not suitable to live in this world or… I can’t feel happy like all my others friend…
After I accept Christ into my heart, my pastor give me a Christian name, start that day I become Sherene Chia Fei Voon… At beginning I feel fresh, I like to be a Christian feel very nice, very happy, feel peace… but after few months ago, I start to feel like normal already, nothing is special, then feel that Satan start to move my heart, he start to change my mind to make me feel struggle with everything… I am lucky that around me got many many sister are protect me, I can feel that they put more and more effort to protect us… because of them, I become more mature in my characteristic, my emotional and also my thinking…
I can feel that I am changing every day, every day I do something which I also don’t know why I do so. Every day I have vision, don’t know come from where, everyday I think about God. Every day I feel touch, every day I feel that want to share my happiness with people, every day I hope everyone can like me. Every day I feel want to help people, though I am busy. Every day pay attention with all people around me, from their face I see something. Some of them I feel they are lonely, sad, they struggle, they confuse with something, fear, hopeless… sometime I look at someone, I can feel he/she like need listener, but they are not faithful with their friends they scare to share with their friends… at beginning I just feel that I think too much already. Again, they not my friends why I want to pay attention on them; we don’t know each other… But what I think is wrong; I can’t control myself to not think about them. Every day I feel like very hungry to win their soul, wish to bring more and more people to God…
I always talk to myself: “hey, sherene you are student, what you need to do is concentrate in your studies, don’t always do all this thing, they are not your job, sure got other people help them one, must believe that got other people will go and peach gospel to them, don’t be kepo ok...” but every time I talk myself like that, every time got sound talk to me that people will be me… I feel tired, why every day got sound control my mind??? Why I face this problem not others, I can clearly see that the problem is on me, I am over religious already… but ps jade always tell me that it is not call religious, it is because we are obey God, but obey God mean we need to do too many thing to Him???

Hospital visitation

Wow…
Soooo happy, today we do a very good thing,..
We have hospital visitation today,
I feel good; I like to have this experience,
I like to share with people about how God do thing for me, what He done on my life, how He heal my parents, what He a give me…

one night, i slept until mid night then suddenly awake, and a picture come out from my mind,
I feel sad because when Jesus second time come to the world, mean that the end of the world is coming, all living will be die…
I feel sad no because of I will die and leave the world,
I feel sad only because of in the heaven only I meet is out of Islam people…
I feel sad that we only can bring people who are non Islam…
While all the Islam people we can’t meet on the heaven…
Sad =(
everyday i think about it, i don't what i want to do, just know i always take a very long long time think this kind of thing...

But today I feel good, because I peace gospel to two Malay woman,
I can see that they are hopeless, they are sad, feel their life is not meaningful; they are totally given up with their life…
This two woman have canceled, I heard from them, they feel life is bitterness…
They feel like waiting to die only…
Oh!!! No, I can’t see them continue give up with their life,
Though sick, but I believe that they still can do something, I cant see them waste their time to think negative…
So I pray before I talk to them, I pray for God wisdom upon me, so that I know how to comfort them with the right way… thanks God guide me and bless me a smooth tongue to talk to them, God wanted me to share my testimony to them, so I go ahead…
I tell them about my daddy story, I tell how God heal my daddy… how bad when my daddy don’t know God, what was happen to my daddy before I accepted Christ…
I really give thanks a lot to God, He give me a better life. God is great, He loves us so much…
Pastor Peach to us before, he say:”ask and receive, any problem just surrender to God, He will help us to solve the entire problem”. That is no reason why God do that. Just because of a father love their children so He does everything to them… a super super simply reason…

MIRACLE !!!

a great things, but people always lack of hope for miracle...
i feel happy that too much of Miracle come upon me...
my dad kidney cant work well, then our whole family are suffer with the disease that my dad get, while my mum also not a very good healthy woman, she always feel headache, she is weak... i am very worry of both of my parents. after all this bad news get from my parents, we start to suffer in our finance problem, my family business suddenly get a very big problem, until all of us feel that the end of the world is coming to our family... it was a very bitter life for me, i never feel it since young... i care about how people look at my family, i start to don't like go back home, i start to my parents that i have many many homework need to do, i scare to let people know my problem including the people that i trust more... i keep it on my heart and start to complain everyday...
luckily i get know God early, He touch my heart and make my mind become positive, i start to tell people the problem that i face, i start to surrender all the problem to Him... Finally by my faithful heart, God has been heal my parents and also my family business, He had solve our finance problem, but it need more time, i was fall down again and again, many time i give up hope and also feel angry with God, but He never never leave me, He always forgive me...

one thing i can share is...
trusting God and also be faithful to God is not a easy thing, it need more time and also a very stronger heart...
just like when we swim on the sea, we swim and swim, but so far we still cant see the land... it is very tired to continue to swim, but if we keep on continue to swim and be faithful that will reach the land, remind yourself mind will reach the land as soon as possible, then sure you will reach the land more faster than you give up hope and always take a short rest on half way... but if you swim until half way and give up hope to continue swim and you stop at there then let the small wave slowly bring you far away from the land, on the end of the day you still cant reach to the land...
i like this story so much, it encourage me more and more, when i feel sad and also disappoint, then the story will appear to my mind and remind me again and again, so that i won't give up hope with everything God done for me,i know that He got Him purpose for me...
God i give thanks to you...
thanks that u help me heal my parents, i thank you that always bless us, thanks that you had touch my parents heart, thanks that save us and give us a happiness life, i thanks for your mercy and also your love...
I GIVE THANKS TO ALL THE THING S THAT YOUR DONE FOR ME...

CONFUSE....

i am a very easy worry about many many things, everything can influence my mood.
but because of Jesus i learn how to be not easier to be worry...
i know how to surrender my burden to God...
sometime i feel that I'm Strong, I'm mature, I'm faithful, i not how to code my stress....
but sometime i feel that I'm weak....
sometime i feel that i know myself, but sometime i totally don't understand myself,
don't what i want, what i need, what i feel, what am i thinking..
I'm a very happiness person, God create a perfect life for me,
all i need my parents will give me...
people around me love me, care me...
but i cant accept too much of love,
when people start to be friend with me,we can be close...
when we spend more time to get know each other more deeper,
i Will start to reject them, not because of them not good, just because of we become more close than before...
i cant get any best friend because of some rejection inside my heart...
i am confuse with the thing that i do..
i like people caring me, i don't people too caring me,...
i love those who love me, but i reject those that love me...
I'm struggle... reject people is a very bad feeling, it make myself feel lonely...
i feel sad because i hurt some people who love me...
I'm angry because people too close with me...
i hate myself because i cant accept real relationship with everyone....

Father Lord, please help me, give me your wisdom to settle my problem, take away all my bad thinking, so that i can grow to be more mature in my mind, my emotion and also character...
please change my bad attitude now, open out my heart to receive your love...
remind me that my main satisfaction and sense of acceptance is from You not others, so that i wont be so easy influence by people around me..
Lord, You know me more than myself, please come upon me and change me, control myself so that i won't hurt people, holy spirit please talk to me, i want to listen You...
in Jesus name i pray, AMEN